I had an amazing weekend of clarity. The revelation of sanity, so to speak. And I feel cleansed somehow. And free of emotion.
That is until, an email started to niggle at my mind today. A gathering of old friends from the MA program. An invitation. An invitation for me to show how much failure I've accomplished? I have no idea how they've turned out since we all left the program. It's a car wreck. I can't help but wonder about going, but I probably shouldn't dare to involve myself.
Just the fact that the email said: "Significant others welcome of course!" Because yes, we're all assuming that the happy successful students are happily successful in that area of life too. Lejla's married and one of the smartest people I've ever had the chance to study next to. Kim's got Devon. Bryan has his girlfriend. Dave's got his.
Yep, I'm not only the only one who didn't pass the MA, I'm the only one without a significant other. Now, from that perspective alone - if you were me, what possible reason would you have to go to a little mini-reunion?
The only thing that intrigues me is to see what they're up to and if it gives me any ideas into what I could do as well. Plus, it's never good to turn down a reunion when it's so few people. Then, it's constantly, "why couldn't Liz make it?" So, I guess I'll have to go and I'm sure I'll make the most of it. Only Kim knows that I failed, and she's certainly not gonna say anything. So, I'll carry it off like I always do, with nobody being the wiser.
Ugh. And I was in such a great mood just now.