Every now and then I remember Kyle's smile and something inside me softens. It's a nice reminder that I'm not alone. Throughout my classes, including Trawlen's, just the thought of Kyle jellies my legs and shoulders.
Rain showed up today. It came down in tickly sprinkles at first, but we have torrential downpour to look forward to according to the weatherman. I'm used to the rain. Kyle is much more adorable when he's wet. His hair, normally so wavy and free, looks so long and feminine.
This morning, our classes were cancelled because of some seminar that the art department was hosting. We were, of course, all invited to come. It might even be mandatory. But I know all my professors will be happy to know that I'm finishing my projects and assignments, instead of lounging around my room with Kyle. The latter being much more desirable right now. As I get dressed, Kyle pulls me back down to the bed. He kisses my arms and neck and whatever other skin he can reach.
"Where are you going? I thought we could just relax today. Just you and me and the tea." I laugh, but pry myself away from his grasp and finish getting dressed.
"I'm going to the studio to finish my project. It's due on Wednesday."
"Can I come?" He puts on a puppy-dog face, his lips pouting and eyes widening. As much as I'd like to resist that face, I can't.
"Oh, alright. But you have to behave yourself. I can't have you roaming around getting into other people's stuff." Kyle leaps out of bed, grabbing his clothes. He's like an excited kid going to a toy store.
"Yes, Ma'am. I won't touch anything but you." He smiles and gives me a peck on the lips. I shake my head and roll my eyes, but smile.
On the drive down there, I see a lone figure walking down the hill. It's Jake. I slow down and tell Kyle to roll down his window.
"Hey Jake, you need a ride." He grins, the light rain getting in his eyes.
"Thanks." He pulls open the back door and jumps in. Once he's settled and I'm driving again, I break the ice.
"Jake, this is Kyle. Kyle, Jake." Jake holds up his hand, open. Kyle smiles at him.
"So, are you an art major too, Jake?"
"Yeah, Ang and I are the only ones not done with this project. So, we're down here a lot lately."
I park and we all get out of the car. A strong wind gusts past us and I shiver. Kyle holds his hand out for me to hold and I comply. I'm cold and it's a nice gesture to warm me up. Then I realize we haven't held hands before. Outside my room, this is as intimate as we've been. I'm not sure how to react to that. I look up at Kyle, his eyes glowing. He knows what he's doing, not that he planned this.
Jake opens the door for us, walking in last. We all walk back to the studio, Kyle trailing behind me, not sure of where he's going.
"This is a nice place. It feels like an art studio." I look at him. "Not that I've been in one before."
"So, I guess you can just hang around and watch me or Jake, if he doesn't mind." I say the last part loudly, so Jake can hear me. From his station, he replies.
"Nope, I don't mind. Just no touching." Kyle turns a sexy look at me. Don't worry Jake, Angela and I have already discussed touching. I smile, understanding. Kyle walks over to Jake and talks to him about his piece, giving me more time to myself. Kyle always did get that I need my alone time.
Curtis Hopkins jumps into my head. An overweight kid from high school, always staring at me and leaning over my shoulder at the computer lab. He smelled like sweat and fish. I always felt so crowded by him. He would hover by my locker during breaks and wait for me to come by. Cassie let me use her locker then, so I wouldn't have to run into him. I used to think that if he ever touched me, if I brushed his arm, then my skin would become as oily as his. At graduation, Cassie had to sit next to him. She said she felt sorry for him. He seemed saddened by the fact that the kids in school would never talk to him again, even though they were always mean.
I sit down on my stool, reviewing all my work until now. My project turned into a series. A series of canvases, painted to match a mood or emotion. The first one was the potato, I kept it. From Jake's perspective, it was a new life form, waiting to live. When I saw Jake's flower for the first time, I went back to my station and painted. The bright reds and yellows and greens bring a feeling of joy and exuberance. The third painting is a collage actually. Words on paper, like a journal in calligraphy: love and worry and mystery and safety. But I drew crazy lines and circles around them.
Kyle finally comes over to my station, seeing my paintings for the first time. He just stands there, eyes wide open to my works. He's so amazed, I can tell, but he says nothing. He hovers over my fourth painting.
"What's this one about?" I look down, looking for a brush that I don't need.
"You," I whisper. I can't bare to look at him.
"Really? Me?" He squats in front of me. He smiles, a look of pure surprise and happiness lighting up his face. I look up at the painting and point as I talk. I look away to explain the painting, but I'm nervous. He looks happy, but I'm afraid.
"The outline of purple is you. And all the little dots around you are me. I'm scattered. And above your outline is a sunrise. A new day. Well, not a typical sunrise. I didn't want it to be pink and red. Just the blending of colors to look like a sunrise." I could keep rambling on, but I feel Kyle's hand on mine. I stop talking. I look down at our hands, his fingers intertwining with mine. I try to catch my breath, but it evades me. This is one of those romantic moments that you wish for. I could just let it happen and not ruin the moment.
I try to say something, but Kyle interrupts me. He doesn't say anything to stop me, just a finger over my lips. He kneels in front of me now, a kiss pending. I can feel it building, I want to kiss him. My lips are itching and the feeling wells up inside me until I can't hold it back.
"You are so beautiful." Such simple words and my reaction is so overwhelming. Our lips meet, tenderly and softly. His hand reaches up, giving me goose bumps as he weaves his fingers between my hair and the nape of my neck. Something floods inside me. My cheeks are flushed, but not with passion. This light kiss contains volumes of emotion, my body not big enough to keep it. A single tear rolls down my cheek. I can taste its salt in our kiss. It breaks our kiss apart. Kyle licks his lips. My eyes are closed, I realize. When I open them, Kyle is looking at me. He wipes my wet cheek with his thumb and smiles. The air between us is stiff. It only takes a second before we're both laughing.
"Ok, now go away so I can paint some more." I sit up straighter and tuck my hair behind my ears. Kyle stands up, leaving a kiss on my forehead. He walks away towards the lobby. I watch him leave before I turn to my canvas. Blank. My eyes are already brushing paint onto that blank canvas. A little blue and some brown, enhanced by a few strokes of orange around the edges. Red-orange. My back straightens and I relax my shoulders. The last thing I hear is the sound of the studio door closing. As my brush touches the canvas, my mind shuts down and my body takes over.