The tradition is that this is the season of giving. The selfless act of giving presents to others. Even though there's re-gifting. And the perception that if we get expensive presents for others, we've earned their love. And the bigger the present, the bigger the love.
To be honest, I can barely love myself sometimes. How could I even begin to think of showing others how much I love them? It is an easy process though. You think of what the other person needs or wants and you get it for them. They smile and thank you. You hope they did the same for you.
When I go shopping, I barely even consider what the cost is. Unless it's some outrageously expensive item that I simply don't have the money for. But what's the difference between a ten dollar massager versus a twenty dollar massager? Ten bucks less to help shop for others, I suppose. But then, what's ten dollars nowadays... It couldn't buy me shit in England or Sweden.
To stay in line with tradition, my own that is, I've given myself a respite. From gifts. I'm giving myself time. I'm giving myself a chance to find what I want or need. You won't be surprised to know that I have no Christmas wishes this year. At least not in the tangible sense. I'm giving myself a chance at sanity. More likely than not, I'll have a brief moment of clarity, then allow it to slip away. As happens to most of us.
I do wish for something though... I wish my friends and family laughter.