I did a really stupid thing. Regardless of what it was, I'm sure anyone can relate to the following...
It's really hard to not talk to the person involved. My immediate reaction is to call him and resolve it all through talking. But I can't do that. And that's the most difficult thing I'm going to do in the near future. He did leave the door open - we will eventually talk about it. I need to remember that. But this is my test. If I am a good friend, I will respect his privacy and his space. I will show him that I can do this. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll know that I did my best. I think it will work out. I think I'm a good friend going through some strange transition in my life that causes neurotic behavior. I think he's a good friend going through professional and personal stress as well that causes the desire to retreat.
I'm hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. I'm hoping he sees that I'm not myself lately and that our friendship is new and atypical and odd sometimes. I'm preparing for the fact that he can't take on that type of friendship and will tell me we can't be friends anymore. It'll hurt if that's true. But I'll live. I always do.