I'd like to apologize to someone via my blog. If he reads this, he'll understand what I'm about to say.
Yes, I'm kicking a dead horse. I kinda suck at tact sometimes. IM convos are the worst way to converse. Although, texting is possibly a bit worse. During our IM convo today, we were both in weird places. I was definitely in that odd scatterbrain headspace - due to abusive customers and being stretched thin. And, ok, maybe it effected me a little... the thing you told me about Saturday. But not in the way you would think.
I truly appreciate that you told me. Like, immensely appreciate it. It's a big step and I can imagine it might have been something you thought you shouldn't tell me. And the fact that you're trying to understand me while I'm going through a bad insecure phase in my life, is also a testament to how cool you are. You are indeed a good friend. My friends mean the world to me.
I did say the wrong thing in the wrong way. And I apologize for that. Actually, I kept apologizing and trying to make sure we were ok... to the point where I was unraveling myself. And I shouldn't be so hard on myself. But I am sometimes - and I'm working on that. I know, I sound like some girl who never really left therapy.
What I should have said, and wanted to say, was this:
Feist?! There's still tickets available?! Fuck yeah... Let me see if there's anyone I can come with. If not, have a great time.
That would have been a normal response. Instead, you got the version of me that says the wrong things and then flogs herself for making a mistake. Well, not actually flog, but you get it. And the fact that you get it is good.