I feel shocked and numb and all-around dizzy.
The car broke down again. Had to get it towed and fixed (more than $2500 paid) and it's still not working. So, they had better find that they fucked up, because otherwise the parents have to buy another new car.
My friend, Emily, is engaged. She tried, sneakily, to tell me before. I'm disappointed that I'm so wrapped up in myself to not have caught the sneaky way she tried to tell me.
Yeah, that's the last straw. I'm such an idiot and I'm completely disconnected from what's going on around me - no wonder there's so much bad karma going on. I really will endeavor to listen more and talk less. It is not all about me. And it never will be (long-term). Was I always this way? Did I always think of myself first? Man... I kinda don't know what to say anymore.
I don't want to be so wrapped up in me that I'm not experiencing life with my friends. Why would I go through life alone? Why would I want to repel the very things that might make me happy? Even if I don't realize I'm repelling....
And what am I doing? I'm sitting here on my ass. I never sit on my ass. Who have I been this past year?!