This is so funny. But there's backstory, so let me enlighten.
K, Thayne and I are a thing. Way back when. After graduation, I drive with him to Colorado. Three weeks before I have to go home to start a job. Wow, three weeks. And I'm broke. So is he. Hmmmm... I find a posting online for models. A photographer is looking for nude models. Random decision to say yes to it. Thayne comes with me to see if this guy is kosher. He is. Nice guy, good photographer, great work. Money! Cash! Me likey. Me needy. So, there are no naked pics of me online, but James (photog) has some prints of me that I might like to keep. Don't want mom to know, I send them to Thayne. Thayne and I are no longer a thing. New Year's: I meet Mike, we start dating. James says he's been working on another print and would I like to have it. Nope - send it to Mike. Four months later, Mike and I are no longer a thing. I pester Mike to send it back to me, but to no avail. I give up hope.
A week ago: Mike's online and I say hi. I had been to see Jen and Chris in Portland. (Chris and Mike go way back.) Chris is disappointed in Mike, because he never calls. That, and Mike was supposed to be the best man at the wedding next year. So, I say hi to Mike and tell him to call Chris. He says, do you still want your print? YES! Ok, give me your addy and I'll send. YES!
Yesterday: Mike's online and I say hi and Happy V-day! Oops! It's Mike's wife, Courtney. Me squiting face into very uncomfortable positions. She knows who I am and is asking all types of questions. Do you talk a lot? Didn't you used to date? You live in CA? (Backstory on Mike and Courtney: he broke up with me on May 5th, proposed to her by June 10th. Married her in November 2004.) So I play nice and answer her questions. She says - Are there any other pictures you want sent back to you, or is it just the naked ones? More wrinkling of Liz's face. She's seen them b/c she helped Mike move everything from his room in the barracks to their apartment. I'm not embarrassed by any means, but she sounded angry and totally possessive. Granted, this was IM and you never can tell (thank you Jen for that insight). She says she's not angry, but it's not my fault. That he shouldn't be keeping naked pics of an ex around when he's MARRIED to someone else. Pretty much the end of the conversation.
How fucking hysterical is this? And even right at the beginning, I kept saying that I'm at work and that I had to go. But I wasn't going to disrespect her by not talking to her. Wow - she's either completely insecure and possessive about Mike or just plain sick at the thought of Mike having a naked picture of someone other than her. She probably wouldn't do something like that. And I don't say that out of disrespect. Mike is conservative and religious, so it goes to say that she is probably the same. I would hope so, otherwise why are they married? She's not pregnant.
So, I call Jen and freak out to her for a bit, but she tells me to calm down. Mike's a waste of time anyway b/c he told Chris that he might not be able to make it to the wedding. Why? Finances. The wedding is next April! You can't save up a couple hundred bucks to fly up for a weekend a year in advance? More than a year!! Yeah.... so I'm not too understanding of Mike. He's a mystery at this point. And after telling Jen about the conversation with Courtney, she's not surprised that Mike never calls. Courtney's probably all he thinks about b/c he's whipped and she's possessive. Mike's a softie, so this doesn't surprise me.
You have to laugh right? But they're sending the print, so I can finally have one in my possession. I swear Thayne lost the one I sent to him on purpose. Or he didn't and I'll need to get it back from him too. Can't have this happening again... I'm so giggling over this.
Life is good.