I finally went to church yesterday. And here are some jokes, that actually weren't meant to be jokes, said by the visiting father.
An atheist hikes through the forest. Along his path, he stumbles and falls. He's hurt kinda badly and decides to head back to the ranger station. On his way back down the path, he runs into a bear. The atheist starts to run away, but being hurt, the bear catches up to him. The atheist falls to the ground. Just as the bear reaches his paw up to give him a thwack, the atheist cries out "Oh, my God!" Everything falls silent. The bear stands as if frozen, the stream nearby stops babbling, the wind dies. Suddenly, from between the clouds a booming voice says, "Oh, so now you call on me! Only in your time of need! What makes you think I might allow you my clemency? What makes you think I'd let you become Christian?" And the atheist replies: "I don't think you would. Actually, you don't have to. But maybe you could make the bear a Christian?" The clouds fall back into place. The stream begins to babble once more. And the atheist watches as the bear slowly lowers his raised paw to his chest. And presses one paw to the other in a prayer, saying "Our Father, bless this food which I am about to receive..."
I thought it was hysterical, mostly because it was performed in a way only a priest could. And the topic of the sermon where it was featured was about how Christians must turn and look for God as a way to focus, blahblahblah. And in no way, was it meant to be a slap at atheists, which is nice.
The second joke I actually can't remember right now. Maybe my mom knows off the top of her head. But the atheist one is good enough for now.