Because apparently, the material we discussed today in my class was way over my head. Most of the class got it, whether it was about the metaphors the author was using to describe his predicament or the historical aspects involved in his writing. People were making statements, that Professor Langbehn was agreeing with, and I felt completely unintelligent. I felt like a third grader sitting in on a high school class, where all the big kids use long words that I can't understand. I mean, it wasn't even like I just wasn't understanding the text... no I literally didn't understand the words that were coming out of people's mouths. I told this to the professor after class - not only to let him know that I didn't get it, but because I needed some handouts that I had not received due to my explained absences - and he sort of brushed it off. Not brushed it off, but waved his hand and said - don't say that - as if I was just being humble about my comprehension.
So, I think I'll have to up my focus on that class. The other two are fine comparatively. I can understand what's going on and participate in the class, even if I haven't read the text in full - because I can follow the discussion. No can do in my Wednesday class! So, I'm going to get a head start on the readings for next week's class. Maybe it'll be an easier read than this week's. But seriously, by the end of class, I felt like I was in way over my head and just didn't belong in that class AT ALL!
In happier news, I'm flying to see Jen next weekend. Very excited to see her again and talk about wedding stuff!! I also called the YFU field director for Northern California. Very cool lady, she didn't sound old on the phone, receptive to my resume and ideas. So, that should work out just fine. Gave Sonia at Berlitz a call as well. So, I'll probably go down and have lunch with her one day next week. Talk about how things have changed there. But I'll have to contact SF if I do want to teach again. When we move, it'll be much easier for me to work for their office than Campbell - just geographically.
Think I'll rest my head and read some Harry Potter before starting on some real reading. Hope is not lost just yet. :)