We are very resilient creatures, us women. We fight back self-doubt and brave the bar in heels. We start new trends in fashion when wine spills our perfect white blouse. We never second guess ourselves when someone calls our judgment into question, particularly when men call it into question. We try not to take men slow dancing with us for granted.
I try to conjure up these images of woman when I'm in a mentally bad place. I failed my driving test the first time out. I ruined a perfectly good dress by cutting out part of the elastic in the hem. I've broken three toes. I've almost let someone fall while rock climbing. I say the stupidest things sometimes!! But this makes me me.
On Wednesday, I failed my oral MA exams. This does not phase me since I know myself well enough to know that Liz usually makes huge mistakes but comes back fighting. Also on Wednesday, I had a fight with Niclas. I guess it wasn't so much a fight as me in full freak-out mode and Niclas trying desperately to listen. Alexei called the last two days "emotional whiplash" for me.
Sounds about right.
So, I'm writing. I'm writing about my sunburned legs, my excuses for getting out of yoga, my tough exterior.